MORE ZEN JUDAISM

If you wish to know The Way, don't ask for directions. Argue.

Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded
glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with posture like
that.

If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

Those who know do not kibbitz. Those who kibbitz do not know.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining
Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

Do not kvetch. Be a kvetch. Become one with your whining.

The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao does
not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao is
not Jewish.

Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second,
satisfaction. With the third, Danish.

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question.

After consulting the Bible, the priest says, "My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays."

The man thinks: "What does a priest know about sex?" So he goes to a Lutheran minister, who after all is a married man and experienced in this matter.

He queries the minister and receives the same reply: "Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath!"

Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out a Rabbi, a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge.

The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, " My son, sex is definitely play."

The man replies, "Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?"

The Rabbi softly speaks, "My son, if sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it."
 

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