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JUDAISM

 

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ZEN JUDAISM

Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

 Though only your skin, sinews, and bones remain, though your blood
 and
 flesh dry up and wither away, yet shall you meditate and not stir
 until
 you have attained full Enlightenment. But first, a little nosh.

 Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health or a
 life
 without problems. What would you talk about?

The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all sentient
beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens
to be Jewish?

In nature, there is no good or bad, better or worse. The wind may blow or
not. The flowering branch grows long or short. Do not judge or prefer. Ask
only, Is it good for the Jews?"


To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers.
Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand
petals. You might want to see a specialist.


A Jewish congregation in suburban Boston honors its
Rabbi for 25 years of service by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all
expenses paid.

When he walks into his hotel room, he finds a
beautiful nude woman lying on the bed.

She greets the Rabbi with, "Hi, Rabbi, I'm a
little something extra that the President of the Temple arranged for you.


The Rabbi is incensed. He picks up the phone, calls
the President of the Temple and shouts, "Greenblatt, what were you
thinking? Where is your respect? I am the moral leader of our religious
community! I am very angry with you and you have not heard the end of
this."


Hearing this, the naked woman gets up and starts to
get dressed.

The Rabbi turns to her and asks, "Where are you going?
I'm not angry with you."

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