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I was tired of being bossed around by my wife; so I went to a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist said I needed to build my self-esteem, and so he gave me a
book on assertiveness, which I read on the way home.
I finished the book by the time I reached my house.
I stormed into the house and walked up to my wife. Pointing a finger in her
face, and said, "From now on, I want you to know that *I* am the man of this
house, and my word is law!  I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight,
and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert
afterwards.
Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax.
And, when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb
my hair?"

"The funeral director?" she replied.

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