GOLF

A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf.  He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second.  On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole in one when his cell phone rang.
     It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.
     The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that the he'd be there as soon as possible.  As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf.  He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital.  He ended up finishing all eighteen.  He finished his round shooting a personal best of 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10.
     He was jubilant; then he remembered his wife.  Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital.  He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.
     He doctor glared at him and shouted, " You went ahead and finished your round of golf didn't you? I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU. It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last! For the rest of her life she will require 'round the clock care. And you'll be her care giver!"

The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed.

The doctor started to snicker and said " Just kidding! She died two hours ago.

What'd you shoot?"

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

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